Parenting

Parenting is/will be one of, if not the most important roles and purposes we have on earth. It is our responsibility to raise our children to the best of our ability. It is important to raise our children with love and concern, but it is equally important to not shelter them too much.

                The most important thing we can do as a parent is to make our child feel loved. They need physical and emotion contact. They also need to feel a sense of belonging. If they do not receive these things, then they may seek undue attention from others. Often, they may be frustrating for others to handle and their behavior can get out of control. Later, as teenagers and adults, they could get into bad relationships to fulfill their desire for closeness because the parents lacked to give them contact. Parents can approach their children in certain ways to avoid their children seeking attention. They can give contact freely. Don’t hold back hugs or cuddles. Give them hugs and make eye contact with them. They can also teach them to contribute.

                It is important that parents are always providing support and encouragement to their children. They should support them in the good things they do and the desires they have. We should always encourage our children to finish things out, try their best, and get back up when they fail. When problems arise with a child, a parent should have problem handling conversations with that child. They should discuss with the child how to handle the problem. Let the child have room to speak and put their input. They should also be trying to figure out ways to handle their problem. As a parent, you are there to guide them in the right direction. When a child keeps making a bad choice repeatedly, the parent should start out with a polite request. Let the child know that it should be done. If that doesn’t work, then follow up with and “I” message. This will help them to understand why it’s bothering you and why it needs to be done. This should still be a respectful conversation. If they still aren’t doing what they should be, then follow up with a firmer statement. This should be firm and direct, but still respectful. It is never okay to be disrespectful to our children. If the firmer statement doesn’t work, then a logical consequence should occur.

                Logical consequences are consequences that are logically connected to the action, discussed in advance with the child and should be an if/then statement… “if you don’t do what you should be, then this is what will happen.”.  Parents should also allow natural consequences to happen. Natural consequences and logical consequences are connected. They should both make sense to the child. These are different from punishments where the consequence is set up by a parent that has nothing to do with their actions. For example, it would be taking away the child’s phone for not being home on time. Parents should never punish their children. They may get confused as to why that is a consequence and it will not make sense to them. They will not make a connection between the action and punishment, so they won’t learn anything. Natural consequences may be that if they don’t fill up their car with gas one night and must go to school the next day, but don’t have enough gas to drive, then they must ride the bus. Parents should not bail them out of these natural consequences by letting the child take their car to school. If we protect them from natural consequences, then they will never learn a lesson and they will always think that they have something to fall back on. However, there are times when parents should let the natural consequences happen to their child because they are too dangerous, too far in the future to teach a lesson, or if someone else is affected by it.

                Parenting can be difficult. It takes a lot of love and patience for the children. However, if you are willing to offer the child all the love you can give them and follow a few guidelines, many people have the potential to raise amazing children. Parents can learn a lot through their experiences and their children and it is a great blessing that we have the opportunity to raise some of God’s children.