Parenting

Parenting is/will be one of, if not the most important roles and purposes we have on earth. It is our responsibility to raise our children to the best of our ability. It is important to raise our children with love and concern, but it is equally important to not shelter them too much.

                The most important thing we can do as a parent is to make our child feel loved. They need physical and emotion contact. They also need to feel a sense of belonging. If they do not receive these things, then they may seek undue attention from others. Often, they may be frustrating for others to handle and their behavior can get out of control. Later, as teenagers and adults, they could get into bad relationships to fulfill their desire for closeness because the parents lacked to give them contact. Parents can approach their children in certain ways to avoid their children seeking attention. They can give contact freely. Don’t hold back hugs or cuddles. Give them hugs and make eye contact with them. They can also teach them to contribute.

                It is important that parents are always providing support and encouragement to their children. They should support them in the good things they do and the desires they have. We should always encourage our children to finish things out, try their best, and get back up when they fail. When problems arise with a child, a parent should have problem handling conversations with that child. They should discuss with the child how to handle the problem. Let the child have room to speak and put their input. They should also be trying to figure out ways to handle their problem. As a parent, you are there to guide them in the right direction. When a child keeps making a bad choice repeatedly, the parent should start out with a polite request. Let the child know that it should be done. If that doesn’t work, then follow up with and “I” message. This will help them to understand why it’s bothering you and why it needs to be done. This should still be a respectful conversation. If they still aren’t doing what they should be, then follow up with a firmer statement. This should be firm and direct, but still respectful. It is never okay to be disrespectful to our children. If the firmer statement doesn’t work, then a logical consequence should occur.

                Logical consequences are consequences that are logically connected to the action, discussed in advance with the child and should be an if/then statement… “if you don’t do what you should be, then this is what will happen.”.  Parents should also allow natural consequences to happen. Natural consequences and logical consequences are connected. They should both make sense to the child. These are different from punishments where the consequence is set up by a parent that has nothing to do with their actions. For example, it would be taking away the child’s phone for not being home on time. Parents should never punish their children. They may get confused as to why that is a consequence and it will not make sense to them. They will not make a connection between the action and punishment, so they won’t learn anything. Natural consequences may be that if they don’t fill up their car with gas one night and must go to school the next day, but don’t have enough gas to drive, then they must ride the bus. Parents should not bail them out of these natural consequences by letting the child take their car to school. If we protect them from natural consequences, then they will never learn a lesson and they will always think that they have something to fall back on. However, there are times when parents should let the natural consequences happen to their child because they are too dangerous, too far in the future to teach a lesson, or if someone else is affected by it.

                Parenting can be difficult. It takes a lot of love and patience for the children. However, if you are willing to offer the child all the love you can give them and follow a few guidelines, many people have the potential to raise amazing children. Parents can learn a lot through their experiences and their children and it is a great blessing that we have the opportunity to raise some of God’s children.

Family Finances

As we know, the roles of a father and a mother are different. However, they work together to make the best situation for their family. Generally, fathers are off at work, so they can provide financially for the family while the mother is at home taking care of the kids at the house. When we think of a father’s contribution to a family people think of things such as: off at work, a genetic contribution, fills in what mom can’t do, and they preside, provide, and protect.

                Men know that when they become a husband and a father, that their role is to provide for the family. They know that they are supposed to get a job and provide the finances for the family. Women, however, can either be a stay at home mother or can work part or even full-time. This can be confusing for some women. Some women don’t know whether it is worth it to go to college to get a further education. There are both benefits and costs to a woman going to college to receive a degree.

                There are many benefits when women go to college and get a degree. They will have a decent job that they will be able to fall back on that pays decent money if they have a degree in case their husband loses his job or in case of a divorce. They would be able to step up for the family to provide financially for them in a time of need. Another benefit is accomplishing something. The feeling of success is huge, and they won’t feel regret later for not going to school if something happens to the father and his job. The mother receiving a college degree can also help the children in the family. It can set an example for children to work hard and that anybody can do anything if they set their mind on it. They will also be able to be able to help children more sufficiently with homework from school and it lets the mother have social connections while she is both in school and working at her job that going to school allowed her to have.

                There are also some costs with women going to college if they have a family. A major one would be student debt. Student debt can take a long time to pay off and cause the family more financial struggles in the long run, even if she were to get a job to help pay off. Also, when a mother works, it affects the children in the family and can put a major strain on the family dynamic. A woman’s college education may also delay children which can also result in having fewer children. It may be an excuse to not have children until they finish school. Family should always come first over everything. Putting a woman’s education before having children and creating a family can have negative effects.

                If a mother chooses to work while the father is also working there can be costs of dual incomes. Some of these include the parent’s availability. The parents will be less available and attentive to their children. The standard of living for the family may also go up while they have extra income and the family may expect more and more. There also may be a desire to delay children because the couple likes having the money they make and using it how they want.

                The world tells us that in order to strengthen a family, we should delay it and in order to be in a better economic situation, we should spend money. Sometimes we let the world tell us how to get places and how to do things, but we forget that we have a God who will take us there and show us how to do it.